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Have you decided to hold a cremation service for yourself or a loved one? If so, you’re part of a growing, nationwide trend in America.
An obituary for cremation or ash spreading is similar to a traditional one written for a funeral and burial service. The difference is in the wording you choose to describe the service or ceremony.
Keep scrolling, and we’ll take you through some of the nuances of writing for cremation or ash spreading, offer some obituary template examples, and show you where to post the obituary, too.
Jump ahead to these sections:
- What Should You Include or Not Include in an Obituary for a Cremation?
- Steps for Writing an Obituary for a Cremation
- Example Obituaries for a Cremation
- Places to Post or Submit an Obituary for a Cremation
What to include in an Obituary for a Cremation
Unique or identifying information
What can you include in an obituary? Anything that offers information specific to your loved one without giving details that would compromise their estate or any surviving family members. That typically means you can include your loved one’s names or nicknames, general locations, stories about their life, and even the names of surviving loved ones.
Preferred pronouns
If your loved one was transgender or nonbinary, then use the appropriate pronouns. Even if the grammar seems off, use the pronoun they were comfortable with—don’t worry about how the sentence sounds.
What to leave out of an Obituary for a Cremation
Home address
Avoid detailing personal information or combining certain information like a home address with a service time. Offering up times for an unwatched or empty home will only invite unwanted issues at the worst possible time.
Key data
And, certainly, don’t include any information that could lead to such things as financial fraud.
Questions to ask yourself
The critical thing to remember is that you don’t want to print or post things you’ll later regret. Specific issues to consider include:
- Is the information irrelevant?
- Does the info divulge any family or personal issues?
- Would your loved one want to expose or express this information?
- Does the information take the focus away from your loved one?
Steps for Writing an Obituary for a Cremation
Start with their name
Use your loved one’s full name, any well-known nicknames, and their maiden name, if applicable. These are all features specific to your loved one that will help others identify them.
In the case of our trans community, be careful not to “dead name” them. That is, don’t use the name given at birth. Instead, use the name they chose.
Include the location of birth
In addition to their unique name, your loved one’s birth location contributes to a one-of-a-kind record of their life. They might be incredibly proud of their heritage, so include that if it seems appropriate. Otherwise, just include their most recent town or city of residence.
Offer their date of birth
Just like the name and location of birth, your loved one’s date of birth is important. After all, you can tell a lot about a person simply by the years they journeyed on this planet.
Suggest a cause of death
There is no need to go into great detail about someone’s cause of death unless that behooves your grieving process. Instead, a mere suggestion of a reason will suffice.
Unless it helps your grieving process or accords with your loved one’s wishes, there is no need to go into great detail about their cause of death. Instead, a mere suggestion of a reason will suffice.
Include a life summary or high points
Here’s where you get to explain the macro experiences of the deceased’s life. You can list their military experience, their travels, or how they loved their annual fishing trip with girlfriends. Say as much or as little as you prefer.
Offer some quotes
Many won’t find this a necessary section. But you might want to if your loved one often recited a particular quote or simply lived a creed so brilliantly that to leave it out would be like denying a part of their life.
Include surviving family members
Some people shy away from this addition in obituaries because it opens the door for unscrupulous behavior. So, use your best judgment.
Note any services or scattering times
Even though people opt for cremations, some will have viewings where loved ones can gather and say a final farewell.
There won’t be a service in other instances, but there will be a celebration of life or a scattering service. Mention it here if you’d like to extend invitations.
Suggest a donation
Skipping flowers at a cremation is not unusual. Many people would rather see the florist fee spent on a nonprofit or given to a fund to support others. Choose what’s best for your family.
Example Obituaries for a Cremation
Now that we’ve given you the elements that shouldn't be included in a cremation obituary let’s look at how to write an obituary with some examples. Think of these as templates, then copy, cut, and paste them into your document. Just change the details to suit your loved one’s life.
Example obituary for cremation without a service
James Cooper “Coop” Mortenson (1965–2022) died during Oregon’s first summer heatwave. Near the end of his life, he lived by Shelterbelt Park in Bend, OR, with his friends and his dog, Joe.
Born in Lincoln City, Coop was the eldest of four, with three sisters. He learned mechanics from his father and spent time in northern California before settling back in Bend. He bought a home, opened a business, and lost both after the 2008 recession.
Coop’s family could not be reached, but his friends offered great praise. When speaking with those who knew Coop best, they say he will be remembered for his laughter and concern for others, and for the way he brightened the worst of days. What eventually led Coop to homelessness is unknown, but it wasn’t drugs or addiction.
The Mortenson family will be paying for his cremation, but no service is scheduled.
Example obituary for a cremation with a private service
Elizabeth Anne “Doc” Guiney, DVM, of Kennewick, WA, died suddenly on June 18, 2021.
Born the youngest of four to George and Gennie Guiney, Elizabeth grew up raising cattle and quarter horses with their elder siblings Carmen, Sam, and Ronna on a small ranch outside of town.
On a full scholarship, Elizabeth traveled to Spain, where they received their degree in Veterinary Science. Shortly after that, they returned to our small town and set up a practice for the next twenty years. Our community is at a significant loss without this brilliant, compassionate human being. Many will miss their warmth and genuine love for animals.
Elizabeth is survived by their parents, siblings, and many nieces and nephews. Elizabeth requested their ashes to be scattered at the ranch in a private service in the event of their death.
Instead of flowers, the family requests that you please donate to our local humane society.
Example obituary for an ash-spreading ceremony
The family of Felicia Thornton, who passed away during the COVID-19 shutdown, sends a warm and welcoming invitation to all friends and family. On Thursday, March 16th, at noon, please join us at Heceta Beach to say goodbye as we spread her ashes on her favorite beach.
Afterward, we’ll be lunching at the Driftwood Inn. Please wear warm, waterproof clothing and bring a story to tell.
Example obituary for a cremation with a public service
Mr. Earl “Jay” Pease of Escanaba, MI, passed away on Monday, November 15, 2021, at 76.
Jay was born to parents Earl and Frances Pease on February 14, 1942, in Spring Valley, WI. He grew up the youngest of three and attended Spring Valley High School. In 1960, Jay was drafted into the military and spent the next 20 years in service. Jay married Sylvia Iverson in 1972, and the couple had two children.
After he retired from the military, Jay and Sylvia moved to Sanibel Island, Florida, and opened a café. Jay started several nonprofits and volunteered at Ding Darling National Wildlife Refuge to support wildlife habitats and restoration.
Jay is survived by his daughter, Katherine (Robert) Redmond; his brothers, Pete (with wife Jenny) and Alan (with wife Barbara); and two grandchildren. He is preceded in death by his wife, Sylvia; a son, John; and his parents, Earl and Frances.
A viewing of the body will be available to the public at Mayer Funeral Home on November 21 between 3:00 and 5:00 p.m. All are welcome. An additional scattering ceremony for Jay’s ashes will occur on New Year’s Day at Mineral Springs Park. Friends and family are invited. The family requests that you donate to Chapel Hill Church in place of flowers.
Places to Post or Submit an Obituary for a Cremation
The following places for posting or submitting an obituary all come with their potential upsides and downsides. Read through them and then decide which one works best for your situation.
Newspaper
Newspapers are the most traditional and timeless location to post an obituary. After all, we’ve been posting loving and admirable tributes in them since Roman times.
Of all newspapers, small-town publications tend to be the most affordable, which means you can tell a long story and post a picture for a reasonable fee. However, papers in larger cities are going to limit the length of your tribute. And if cost is a consideration, bear in mind that they’re also more expensive.
Online memorial website
There are two ways to access online memorial sites. One is through a newspaper obituary. These days, many publications automatically link their obituaries to an online service.
Another way is to search for and locate a memorial site on your own. Before you post, note the site’s fee structure. You can expect to pay anything from a nominal one-time fee to a larger fee for a permanent posting.
Social media
Whether you pin, tweet, or post, social media offers yet another way to gather a community after the death of a loved one.
- Facebook allows you to pin a post to the top of your own social media page to avoid getting lost in the feed.
- Instagram allows you to post a picture, but over time, that photo will archive itself deeper in your feed as you continue to post.
- Twitter(X) will let you tweet a few words in your loved one's honor. However, this platform may not be ideal given the overall constraint on length.
Personal website
If you’re savvy, there are ways to build a website and dedicate it to your loved one for free. Many website builders even offer automated building tools, so there’s no design or guesswork on your part. All you have to do is populate the site with stories and pictures, then share it with family and friends.
Obituary Templates for Cremation and Ash Spreading
Use the templates we created above to suit the needs and circ*mstances of your family and situation. Be as traditional, expressive, or vague as you feel is most appropriate. Remember, no single obituary is better than another. Each person and story is unique.
Sources:
"Cremation Rate in the United States from 1975 to 2021 with a Forecast for 2027." Statista. https://www.statista.com/statistics/251702/cremation-rate-in-the-united-states/.
